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Writer's pictureTina Boogren

Episode 12: Find Joy in Unexpected Connections

Description: This episode invites listeners to step out of their comfort zones by engaging in small, meaningful interactions with strangers to foster connection and brighten everyday moments.


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Transcription:  Hi and welcome to week twelve of season five of Self-Care for Educators. I am your host, Dr. Tina Boogren. This week's invitation, um, is going to be easy for some of you and it's going to be challenging for some of you. Um, I would put myself in the latter category here, but I'm going to do this alongside you. So here's this week's invitation. Um, I want you to talk to a stranger.  This goes against what we were taught when we were younger, right? And what we tell our own children, however, um, I've just been reading more and more and listening to different podcasts and different experts, just reminding us of the power of connection with one another, even just the random stranger that we cross paths with during the day.


So just taking time to take your headphones out and say hello to the barista. Uh, if you're sitting somewhere waiting and someone's sitting next to you, um, rather than just pulling out your phone and scrolling, maybe you offer up a little compliment and see if that opens up a conversation. 


I, um, as many of you know, am an introvert and many of you will relate to this when I say that I love my job when I'm out like talking with people and all that energy and that's all fine. But for me, my introversion comes with how I rejuvenate and that is being by myself. So it's this, strange, I don't know if strange is the right word, this thing that I can come to your school or your event and talk all day long and I love it. I absolutely love it. That is not painful for me. I love that. But when I am done and I go to the airport or wherever it is I'm going, I can not talk to anyone. Some of you I know are nodding your heads in, um, in understanding there. And so what I tend to do is I like just put my headphones in and I put my head down and I don't make eye contact and I don't talk to anyone. 


But, as I'm reading more and more about this research, and as I take time to go back and reflect on when I have actually engaged in conversations, especially at the airport, you know what? They usually make me happy.  And they make for a more memorable trip, and people are fascinating, and in general they're real kind, and real nice, and have wonderful stories, and it passes the time, and it makes for a memory. 


I even think about, you know, when I get into an Uber or a Lyft, I'm the kind of person that does not want to talk. Um, but when I do, every once in a while, in fact the last time that I was in a Lyft from my house to the airport, um, I had a really, really nice driver. And we ended up talking about education and students and what a hard time it is to be in education, but he was so grateful for so many educators. And it was just a really uplifting conversation. And the time went so fast. And when I got out of his car and I got into the airport, I was like, “Oh man, see, that was a good thing!” And when he started talking, I have to admit, I was like, “Oh no, I don't want to talk.” But then you know what? I leaned into it and it was good.


So that's what I want you to do. If, especially if you are the kind of person like me who tends to avoid that, um, push yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit this week and see if you can make that connection with someone, whether that's someone maybe even at school that you just don't typically get a chance to really talk to or know very well. Maybe you reach out to them.  Maybe you take your headphones out as I said and you experience the world without your phone in front of you. Maybe it's even just you know, that eye contact and the hello if you're out on a walk. Just try to interact with other humans, maybe a tiny bit more than you usually do.


Now for some of you, this is going to be super easy, and so you might want to think about turning your dial up a little bit more. And to tell you the truth, I hardly even know what that looks like because this is a real stretch for me. So maybe you just do it more. Um, maybe you, I don't know you guys, I really don't know because this is a hard one for me. So you'll figure it out. You will figure it out. Maybe you're just more conscious of it.  Maybe you start a conversation in a new and different way. Maybe you reach out to someone that you normally wouldn't talk with and see how it changes your week. See how it changes your week. 


So I'm going to do that too. Of course I always, I always tell you that these podcasts come from things that I am working on myself. So I'm going to do this as well. Um, I'm going to make sure that I interact with someone, uh, when I'm at the airport. Um. If I'm getting coffee, I might strike up a little conversation at the grocery store, talk more than I normally do with the person who's checking me out. Ah, there we go, rather than going to self checkout, I'm going to go to a human  and have a pleasant conversation. And you guys, it doesn't have to be a long in depth, life story-exchanging thing. But just, you know, when you look someone in the eye and you ask them how their day's going and you tell them that you hope that they have a good day and you just thank them. 


That connection right there has a lot of research behind it that taps into what we know about relationships and that sense of belonging and feeling part of a community. And it feels like those kinds of interactions are so fleeting, but they're actually not. They actually add up. So that's what I want you to try this week. Talk to a stranger. I'm going to do the same thing and let's see how it goes. And if we hate it, you don't have to talk to anyone next week. But if you like it, and I suspect we'll probably like it, maybe we'll start talking to strangers a little bit more. 


As always, a huge thank you to Adrienne. Ah, thank you so much for making this happen. Thank you to Solution Tree and Marzano Resources for this incredible job that I get to do and to you, my badass self-care squad. Sink into this week and um, go talk to a stranger.  

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